How Pathetic I Am

Was just watching this Natalie Tran video in which she told the story of her meeting her idol, this Australian comedian I never heard of. She was embarrased of her behaviour.

She took a moment to recognize him, stared, and, when he already passed her, she shouted “Hey, Hamish!” to his back, and then some embarrassing stuff went down. Just kidding. She just shouted she loved him and that’s it. In a creepy, fan-hard way. Kidding. It was all pretty civil.

If you don’t count the gun she was holding, threatening to kill him if he wouldn’t marry her. Joke. Joking. Anyway, my point is, I have a similar story. I met this singer, very famous in Ukraine but you wouldn’t have heard of him – Fagot [yes, I know, I know, bring it on…]. And I told this story to all of my friends over and over again for a million times. And acquaintances. And people I met on the subway. And… well, you get the idea.

But that’s not the pathetic part. The pathetic part is that it was in a botanical garden, no one else around, and he even checked me out, but I freaked out so much I didn’t even think of asking him to pose for a picture with me or something. And have been regretting this ever since. And it was four years ago.

During that time he got married. Or just had a child with someone, I’m not sure. But the thing is, I kind of have this idea in the back of my mind that should I have said something then, we could be together. THIS is how pathetic I am. And I’m not even a fan of the guy or his band!!! I just have this thing for celebrities that I can’t help. I’m cheap, I know. Cheap and shallow.

Fagot, I love you, please come back! She’s a whore and I will love you forever!

[I’m just kidding.]

[No, I’m not.]

[I said you ARE.]

[No, I’m not!!]

[Okay, okay, I am, I love a different person, I don’t care for anybody else.]

[But once I’m done with that one, it’s ON, Fagot, it’s ON.]